Last night's presidential debate reminded me of the "You're Not Listening" essay from the Rands In Repose blog and how most people's idea of what listening is, is incomplete.
The problem starts with the word: listen. Of course you know how to listen. You sit there and let the words into your head. Perhaps your definition is more refined. Maybe your definition of listening involves hearing because you’re aware of that switch in your head that you must flip to really hear what a person is saying. It’s work, right? Pulling in all the words, sorting them in your head, and mapping them against the person who is speaking. That is listening, that is hearing, but if that’s all you’re doing and you’re a leader of people, then you’re still only halfway there.
You should read the whole essay. And remember:
“A good conversation is a bunch of words elegantly connected with listening.”